Hard Sponges And Fragile Diamonds.
Life seem so simple when you look at it when others seem to be living their's. Then again how much can you actually take before you break down and cry.I wish to be in love once again.
There is this one girl I have forever loved:
I'll explain the scenario.
I am thought of as someone who is more of a maniac running loose in a city full of complete sanity. Someone who doesn't bend, break, or even cry.I can't cry for i got no tears left, I can't bend for I'm folded on the inside, and I can't break any further for I'm atomized.
I used to be in Khandala, 1989-91; beautifully long time ago.
This girl walked into my class, GOD is one crazy idiot,he always mess up my circuits. It was morning, I was on the first bench, the sun was rising, she had golden hair, and I was awestruck, She turned out to be someone who knew my mother, my sister, and i knew her brother, her sister.
In 1991 my Dad (wow) expired. Like always he messed up a perfectly good life for me by dying this time. I had to come back to a miserable place called Kalyan, I am out of touch and have been so since the past fourteen years. She was never a girlfriend infact she was one of those girls I used to run away from.(oh I remember I used to be afraid of women and I still am, they make me so nervous sometimes)
Never thought that 14 years down the line this girl will still be in my mind like a warm gentle breeze on a winter evening.
She refreshes my thoughts, She reminds me of what I am, she gives me the strength I need to stay alive, She is everywhere I am, she is in every word I say, every poem I write, Every breath, Every dream,every pore of my skin, every ray of light I bask In.
My curse is I will never know where she is, never find her, never see her, never be able to tell her how much I love her. I will be alive for a hundred thousand years, the only hurt is I always run into women I can love, but the ones I love go far away. Maybe its GOD's subtle way of telling me 'I' exist alone and I shall be existing alone for-ever.
I wish I find love soon for I need support, I may seem like a strong wall that keeps the ocean out of the way but believe me I am not.
A prayer:
'Dear Angel : // If you search my name on the internet you will find me as a poet and I wish you you do that, If you are not single any more even then atleast meet me once for I am still thinking of you and the eyes that started the fire in my heart can only be put out if I see you once more asking me to forget you.//'
I have run out of tears, I've lost faith in love but I can't let you leave out of my mind.
I remember very well,you told me that you were born on 23 rd of December. I pray a minute more on that day for you.
I confess I have loved and lost not once but all those 5170 DAYS OF IT.
Being in love is a beautiful feeling. Never found any one else who can love me selflessly or without having pity on me.
There is this girl who has pity on me and has tried her best to love me but for the past 5 years that she has been trying I have managed to love her a little more that what she can.
I told you my curse stands above all my wishes and Boons.
But I want to take a chance this time,
Walk into my life once again,
Touch those windows before you leave,
I'll touch them when you are gone,
They'll remember your touch and tell me,
Drink from my tea cup,
I'll serve tea each time I feel alone,
I'll drink from your side as well,
It'll make me feel your presence,
Touch my plants, the ones I planted in my garden,
They are what I watch in the mornings first,
Play around them, They will play along,
When they sway in the breeze after
I'll think you are still playing amongst them.
Write your name next to mine,
On the lillies beside my window
It yearns for your gentle touch,
Touch it once before you leave,
It longs for a reason to bloom
Hold my hand before you go,
Let me look into your gentle eyes,
I'll need to look one last time,
My memories need to refreshed,
I need them atleast to survive.
Call my name one last time,
Fill my ears with your voice,
disturb the silence that has deafened me since long,
For I'll miss your calling.
The sun, the sea shore, the pond, the shadow,
The wind, the hills, the valleys,
The mist, the grass, the dewdrops on untouched leaves,
They all remind me of you since the past fourteen years.
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Curt Kobain said it correct.
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If I had to lose my mind;
If I had to touch feelings;
I would lose my soul;
Yeah I'd do;
I don't have to think;
I only have to do it;
The results are always perfect;
But that's old news.
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I am crazy. But I wish to be in love.
(Pink Floyd : "Is there anybody out there?")
posted by Abinomable Non Nutcase @ 6:01 AM
