Tuesday, November 30, 2004

I.D.I.O.T

It doesn't take much for me to live in the world, all i need is to know all is just fine, they don't have to tell me I'll know if it's ok. Well that is all I can say about everyone else I don't think much about. But a few ones I hold close need to tell me what they think, want and feel for I can never look and analyze anyone close to my heart. It is not easy to, I know what they are but I never know what they become.

Sometimes all we have to understand we are only human, and forgive all around us, but does that question my validity on being human? No it doesn't for I waste precious time in taking care of all those idiots around me.

After all as I always say "Only Human"

The terminology for life is exactly caricature.

Sunday, November 28, 2004

ForSaken

No more poetry from me! Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Something is wrong........


Lost winds that visited my garden yesterday,
They came when the moon hung sleepily on my window,
Where I sat Smoking my poison,
Searching a shade of bygones.

I knew the comming,
I had it comming,
I knew all I had was to go,
I just held on the fight.

I wished to survive, to live long enough to fight,
Not to win, Not to smile,
Just to be there and walk a while,
I knew those times are gone, lost.

Somewhere when the circles turned,
A swirl of smoke as I exhaled,
I saw a face there in that smoke,
I saw me bid farewell to my angst.



God exists but I Live

Well my paper tiger just tell m in black and white what is it that you changed for? Was it something I did? Or was it me over all?

==============================================================
Me and my altered reality

Is that all that is there to my existence?
Am I cursed to be subjected to eternal loss of all the friends I love?
Am I that bad? Where is it that I keep going wrong?
If friends considered me as one why do they not pin-point the defect?
Why do I worry so much?


Again to say 'Qusetions Questions and more of it.' Thanks a lot God, you exist as a fragment in this chaotic reclusive world annulated with underlying lies and idiocracies combined with what we call crap for thoughts, you stand,Tall, and as a master. What master are you when you can let all around you seem to be feeling like hell's a better place? probably because you made hell as well?

I laugh at you not because you make me laugh for I pity you, you stand alone just like me,eye to eye, face to face, cut to cut and like black and white. You are the black boss you are the black.
I know I can win when I choose to, but every win you take away from me you lose and it is a win again for me.

If you were just as human how would you be? let's see!
=============================================================
The alarm rings, you wake up it's 6:30AM time to wake up people who mean a lot to you, 7:00 Am a refresher to reawaken them, you come to the office possibly late like me for something or someone caught you on the way to get their work done, and you were happy to help out. You give your blood and life burn like hell and I now in your place just make you lose out on every thing, not because you don't work hard but because I love watching you in trouble. (I love you so much that it hurts you' isn't that a statement you made when you came in the dream?)
You finish work, you come home wait for a a moment of happiness, you reach out to call someone you care so damn much about, I just poison their mind, what do I get out of this? Happiness ? No but that is close the word would be bliss.
=============================================================

Hey god why don't you just hate me atleast you would leave me alone and ignore me like all my people I hold close do (well I know), or if you wan't to pick on me come on let's battle it out my style Black and white, you coward pick on someone your own size not my friends they are not me, it's me you want and I stand right there in that fog lit road hands spread, with fury in my eyes and my gun in my hand (my pen) touch me if you can, I dare you.

Anything you want............................. I wont blink or think twice I'll get it done.

Saturday, November 27, 2004

Alas I knew him.

The days are going well. In my solitary confinement, a caricature I call life. I dream, atleast I used, not of fancy things but of some people around me who would smile often, know me as a frieend and care a little about what I feel for them. They do and then why does it make me feel a little low nowadays? Questions and more questions.

Why do I have to ask? I have been put back at Thane centre for the time being, at my discretion if I want to be at Ghatkopar or not? I leave my descisions to two of the people I hold close, One of them doesn't seem to like the idea of me being there I think for of late that person gets bored talking to me. Well that's what I am probably an irritating Rodent, as this other close friend of mine cannot be telling anything wrong.

Well atleast the other front office buddies like Tehreem,Bharti,Smita,,Alam,Megha,etc don't seem to have a problem with me. Infact working at GKP has become much better to me since I don't like people forming groups like a few others I know. We work almost together as a team. Well almost. I met this most beautiful Babe one morning who goes to the same direction and she told me to meet her everyday. I meet her everyday in the train. Boy isn't that great or wot?

Well whatever that leads to, my office is definitely getting to me. I've changed dramatically, driving on Nitro to destruction. But Thane may just help me gather a little more money. Boss Money is my latest lingo, anything in money I'm there.

Oh I'm giving away three wishes to all the friends I know, Most of it may work, If chosen carefully we all may just be lucky as me. Wish carefully, just let me know that wish and I'll get it done, Almost everything.

Thursday, November 25, 2004

Where In Wonderland?

I am just like a speck of dust that is blown away by winds that come along.
This maybe my assumption, she is so goddamn sweet that I just can't get enough of her.

Apart from all that life is swell, infact so swell that it is swollen man 'absolut swollen'

My job is awesome, my friends are just going around doing their part of worrying, Gkp is beautiful, Thane is lonely just wonderful. Got to meet boss and ask him if i can take a couple of weeks comp off.

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Innocence Lost

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Life Explained:

Explaining life is as simple as describing how the sunset looks to a blind man who was born blind. What do you tell him? Colours? Time?or would you tell him how it feels?

A sunset:

How does it feel to me?
Warm, like the gentle touch of the kind fellow being,
Soothing like a tiger cub asleep,
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Saturday, November 20, 2004

Any colour You like.

Pink? Blue? Red? Green?

No colours not as in those colours but as in What we feel.

Wishing.

I completed 25 years living the way I was most comfortable in. I bended every possible rule i encountered, I went ahead and messed everything in my life. I am not ashamed to regret that I stand today as a contradiction to being human. Humans are who follow rules, want things, wish for all that is material. I've lived never existed.

============================================
I Do.
============================================
When the sky is grey, when it rains
Do you look out our window to catch me in the rain drops?
Wen the sun sets do you feel the red and orange touch you
Do you feel them whispering how beautiful you are?
When the birds take flight, while you are watching them
Do you still smile like an innocent child?
When the river flows,singing along
Do you hear it telling you how I miss you?
When the trees swing in the gentle morning breeze
Do you see them yearning like me for your touch?
When the winds blow beside
Do you hear it call your name?
When the night is dark and the lights are out
Do you seek me to tell you it's alright?
When the sand, washed by the foam that washes ashore gets warm
Do you see it writing your name?
I know that I do, For I know that I love you,
Though you are far away, and only drifting further,
You grow in my heart.
============================================



We all know where we stand, we don't realize our destiny can be changed by our own hands. It has lead me to a place where I know I am going to end up losing my new found self. If I wake up as my old self I'll be no one, nowhere but then as always it would be the same Nair who said "let it go"


The song below is played at the end of Die Hard 2. I watched the movie 6 times just to listen to this song. I love this one. Warm, gentle, and beautiful or should I say Tigerish.
==========================================
Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow Lyrics
==========================================
Oh the weather outside is frightful
But the fire is so delightful
And since we've no place to go
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

It doesn't show signs of stopping
And I've bought some corn for popping
The lights are turned way down low
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

When we finally kiss goodnight
How I'll hate going out in the storm!
But if you'll really hold me tight
All the way home I'll be warm

The fire is slowly dying
And, my dear, we're still goodbying
But as long as you love me so
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!
==========================================

Friday, November 19, 2004

Another Year

Well? A Good question. I ask myself at times. What is it that I hate about myself the most? Everything I am, I smoke for I hate smoking, I drink for I hate drinking, I worry for I hate worrying, I force myself into liking people for I hate people?

What am I ? Nothing short of a walking contradiction.

I love pineapple fresh cream cake (mom got me that in the evening and every time anyone gets me a cake I cry, if I cant I get angry, it reminds me of the days of my childhood a time when I lost my childhood, I am nothing short of a complete misfit in this world.

My friend stopped talking to me (so stupid of him to feel so insecure, I remember the time and pains I took to help this guy change his mind, he reverts back saying I broke up with my girlfriend, that's what I wanted.)Thank you abhishek, thank you.

If it wasn't for a woman I love so much I would have made you suffer, she reminds me that I can love, and I can still think you are a friend, you give a sh** about it but fine boss, I'll laugh at you because you are a baby, a child who looks at the world wearing a pink glass and thinks the world is pink. I cannot blame you it is your mind that doesn't understand love, friendship forget about commitment entirely.

Thanks to you I managed to make some people at the office miserable, their fault? They wanted to celebrate my birthday, I was so worried thinking where I went wrong, where I caused trouble for you, and all that stuff and so much of it that I was hurt. I still forgive you because you are a kid nothing else,I forgive you because you have to learn what love is, you have to learn what friendship is, you have to grow up.

Be happy kid, I don't want to get even,not because I'm weak but out of respect for the two women I love, for whom all Compromises are welcome. Forgiving is the most impossible compromise and for loving you My dearest TIGER I forgive abhishek.'I' won't do anything to him.

Thursday, November 18, 2004

Observation as A key.

My friend AD: Absolutely great, Don't know what is going to happen to him, Is he going to feel better after all that he tried to do.

Look at this story:
=====================================================
A Das meets this girl, gets pretty feelings in his mind, asks me to talk to his girl to build her confidence. I am foolish, For i don't see that he is not in love with this girl, but it is a trap for her, a trap for trapping that poor girl. He makes her suffer for being a good human being, assaults her with insults, call her the dirtiest names, messes up her life, thinks in the end he has achieved something great.

Wow o Wow, What a great intellect this guy has? the spelling should be 'Hawesome'. Don't know why, he doesn't call up, doesn't talk when I call up, This guy told me it was fine if i talked to his girl, he never had a problem, he joined up in the company, cribbed, we tolerated it coz we thought he was a kid who was trying to improve, Hah improve for the worst. C* types man , absolutely C* types guy.

Wonder if he will ever grow up? or if gets out of depression? Probably he is schizophrenic. He I know very well probably hates this girl so much but he not having another blanket to help him stay happy picks on this poor creature. Whatever . He should take shelter in a place where he will be safe, the world is not a safe place for schizophrenics to exist safely.
Accidents happen. No one's safe now a days.
============================================

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Chasing Thoughts

http://ritz_nair.blogspot.com/2004_08_01_ritz_nair_archive.html

Just visiting old memories.
I generally describe some characters pretty well. The above is a girl who is short, sometimes a headache but then that's a medical condition for her.

I have a few others I can describe though they wont like me doing it but hey would it matter?

Raj:
Gets off a ship, turns around, looks at a hot babe, says "wow good" stares, ogles, looks at other women, passes us by, doesn't notice, we call out,we call on his cell no response. we give up.


Edwin:
Gets off the ship, looks around, asks oye yaar dumps hai? oye yaar woh dvd kidhar hai? mai pareshaan hoon, raj kidhar hai? Pooja kidhar hai?, kidhar hai? kya hai? kaun hai? ????

Tehreem:
Gets off the ship, Shee what a dirty place, Oye koi achha deck wala rickshaw dhoond, screams, zor se.

Jeetu:
Gets off the ship, Looks around, Says "It's like this this ship here is brown, this one is grey, they both are ships, but then it is not part of our conversation, lets see the numbers and figures.......
You see it's like simple, not really simple,,,.......

Me:
Gets off the ship, Looks at the sky, looks around, pulls out a smoke, calls out to the guys at the docks, Rahul, vicky, suresh, shashi, sachin (who? who cares?). Walks straight to the barber and cracks jokes, offers a smoke and then finds a silent spot to make a racket.

Saturday, November 13, 2004

Fear

What have i done to myself? I can't watch a fire burn anymore in a war, I cant see a bullet flying through someone's skull, I cant watch a single human cry. This is not me and I don't want it to be so. All the hatred in me is oozing out to empty itself.

I don't want to be in a frenzy of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder called Love. It is eating into my strength. I stand today weak (my own doing), in Pain (my own upbringing). This feeling has eaten me up so entirely that it brings me a choice, a choice to live, a choice to kill myself. I cannot die for I have so many friends who won't let me and I cannot live for I have my own reasons for not living.

I am at war, It's a war between what is dear to me and what I am to me. I chose what is dear and now I have lost my own identity. The absence of her voice or vision makes me think more about her. If I meet her, it's been long, I wouldn't be so worried. I would rest knowing there is another day.

They think if they keep me away from the sea I would forget the water in it, How dumb they are. The more you keep me awaqy from the sea the more eager I grow to drown in it, to reach its dark dangerous depths, to explore it, to love it, to show how much I love.

We all are prisoners of our own thoughts. I broke my cell and here I am in a place called freedom where I am lost, dazed, and waiting for me to call out to myself to imprison me in my own world free of all that is incompetent, this time make it for life.

I know this may sound strange to other mortals, but yes I quit from living like you all, I am bold enought to fight, stare at the future in the eye and challenge it, I Know all I feel, I can be a friend to all those who hate me and love them, not for I can but for I want to.

So i say a prayer to GOD, If I am what you wanted me to be, call me, I have completed my cycle. I am free, I am free of bonding, take me far far away from the feelings of love, living, and fear, before they conquer me, love is already winning over me, now living has risen. I am already afraid to exist, before I breakdown take me away, show them that I am strong and all that I show as my strength is not a folly.

Release me.

Friday, November 12, 2004

Endless Restart

I have seen better days. These days it is just like loneliness is my best company. My friends at work are far away, most of them don't even care to reply to my messages. I feel ignored at times. But you know what? I give a Damn. Sooner or later they will also enter a stage when they will need people like me to withhold their sanity. Don't matter to me, am I bothered for they don't care nah, I give a damn. I can only love people, if they return it good, if they don't care about it I know what they are heading to. My love never is in vain, the ones who scrap it off as stupidity end up in strange situations.

Well apart from all that I have to say I am in love once again, this time again it is a nice pretty sweet and cuddly tiger, Well I ain't telling her like the last time when I ended up in a soup. Well thanks to every friend at the office I feel much balanced, seeing them unbalanced at timess.

I am inspired again, I promise better poems this time, I hope all those who read these poems will pardon me for the crap.

=========================================
Endless Restart
=========================================
Velvet winds touch the water pool,
To disturb the calmness of the stilness,
Beneath which the turbulence lies,
To briefly touch and go.

The ripples reach the other shore,
Shore to shore the ripples wander,,
To end up into the calmness,
As though to seem Undisturbed.

The mind knows no boundary,
Of heartfelt and what is unknown,
To wait in cycles endlessly,
To arise again in thoughts anew.

Like life itself, my journey,
Away from me to some nowhere place,
To an augmented hyper reality,
To restart all over again.
=========================================

=========================================
The fight within.
=========================================
The dust blows on an open road,
Set in wind, by someone who drove by,
To impair vision on the clear summer noon,
To mislead a traveller walking along.

Arid, unforgiving,sand, empty largely,
The road seems to stretch out to no end,
Like walking towards an obscure destination,
Blindly the traveller walks.

To reach out, to touch reality, we wish,
In our pseudo happiness we refrain,
To see what is real, what is true,
We lose focus moving along.

Hard to do, easier said,
A statement we beg to justify,
Till we see how far we have come,
To only regret the avoided visit of a garden.
=========================================

Thursday, November 11, 2004

Close Conversations.

Only once, I said, she declined,
Accepted said I,
Only ten, she said seven,
Accepted said I,
Only you I said, she refused,
Accepted said I,
Never again, said I, She refuted,
Denied said I,
What we are, Said I, Agreed said She,
Thanked her, I did,
23 long, ways to be broken, one to build,Said God,
Accepted said I,
They came, took me for dead,called me bad,
Accepted said I,
I awoke,cold sweat,heart hurt deep,
Accepted said I,
I'll know, the future and all that's unknown,
Accepted said I,
Bless you, Said God, Live in pain but, If for love,
Accepted said I,
He walked out, She turned,left, I walked out on myself,
Accepted said I.
For Friends come back, I called, I said to me,
Accepted said Me.

Relevance

===============================
Relevance
===============================
A truth we ponder on,
A truth we think to justify,
A truth we fail to understand,
A truth we cannot deny,
A truth we beg was unquestionable,
A truth that disturbs at times,
A truth we seldom visit,
A truth we wish to live in sometimes,
A truth for the sorrowful soul,
A truth for the joyous heart,
A truth when the tears roll by,
A truth that makes the smile worthwhile,
A truth, which we miss when lost,
A truth we are happy to see most times,
A truth we joyously treasure,
A truth that makes a small hurt, a lot,
A truth I can never live without realizing,
A truth I love with all my heart,
A truth I know that’s given to me,
The truth what is called life.
===============================

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Augmented Hyper Realism.

What is Reality? We pause sometimes to question ourselves. We hae all the answers don't we? We are all Ritesh Nair aren't we? Hah! well I am cursed to warned before anything happens. Why do I even ask things at times?

Is reality :
what we see,
what we touch,
what we can feel,
what we can taste?
or is life just acronymic?

What we feel can be manipulated,
what we see can be made up,
what we touch can be generated,
what we taste can be synthesized,
so where does that leave reality

Is the enviornment we are surrounded by us real or surreal?
Surreal would be an understatement. What we wat out of this life is simple, we want to touch the surface of every dream pool that we have only to pull our self and say we are afraid.

I am a fighter, give me a battle and I'll win, fight me and I'll fight back like hell, hell would refrain from stating otherwise.

The only thing that matters most to me is a friend that I can gain from all that fighting, I have you I think, You just put your guns down and I've stop fighting. I wish I was a little less understanding and little less confusing.

===========================================
U2 Kite.
===========================================
Something is about to give
I can feel it coming
I think I know what it is
I'm not afraid to die
I'm not afraid to live
And when I'm flat on my back
I hope to feel like I did

And hardness, it sets in
You need some protection
The thinner the skin
I want you to know
That you don't need me anymore
I want you to know
You don't need anyone
Or anything at all

Who's to say where the wind will take you?
Who's to say what it is will break you?
I don't know, which way the wind will blow
Who's to know when the time has come around?
Don't want to see you cry
I know that this is not goodbye

It's summer,
I can taste the salt of the sea
There's a kite blowing out of control on the breeze
I wonder what's gonna happen to you
You wonder what has happened to me...

I'm a man,
I'm not a child...
A man who sees
The shadow behind your eyes

Who's to say where the wind will take you?
Who's to say what it is will break you?
I don't know, where the wind will blow
Who's to know when the time has come around?
I don't want to see you cry
I know that this is not goodbye

Did I waste it?
Not so much I couldn't taste it
Life should be fragrant
Rooftop to the basement
The last of the rocks stars
When hip hop drove the big cars
In the time when new media
Was the big idea
===========================================

===========================================
U2 Stuck in a moment.
===========================================
I'm not afraid
Of anything in this world
There's nothing you can throw at me
That I haven't already heard
I'm just trying to find
A decent melody
A song that I can sing
In my own company

I never thought you were a fool
But darling look at you
You gotta stand up straight
Carry your own weight
These tears are going nowhere baby

You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And now you can't get out of it
Don't say that later will be better
Now you're stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it

I will not forsake
The colors that you bring
The nights you filled with fireworks
They left you with nothing
I am still enchanted
By the light you brought to me
I listen through your ears
Through your eyes I can see

And you are such a fool
To worry like you do
I know it's tough
And you can never get enough
Of what you don't really need now
My, oh my

You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it
Oh love, look at you now
You've got yourself stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it

I was unconscious, half asleep
The water is warm 'til you discover how deepI wasn't jumping,
for me it was a fall
It's a long way down to nothing at all
You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it
Don't say that later will be better
Now you're stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it

And if the night runs over
And if the day won't last
And if our way should falter
Along the stony pass
And if the night runs over
And if the day won't last
And if your way should falter
Along this stony pass
It's just a moment
This time will pass
===========================================


The song in red is for a tiger. It is not about love it is about a friend that I seek in her deeply hidden who inspires me to understanding how beautiful life is. How precious you are to me is easier to say but maybe it is hard for you to comprehend. Not all things in the world are well received by all around me but I'm happy you actually got enough courage to make things clear. That makes me realize how good a friend you can be.

Remember it takes more than just love that I have for a person for me to call a the person a friend, I need their understanding as well, if understanding is not your key areas you can always learn.

These are two of my favouriate songs that I love so much that I keep on listening to them every time I am upset. Three days a week. They build up my morale, give me a reason to live, sustain my life giving breath, If it wasn't for them I would have been brain dead.

I always win a battle but lose a war. I want to win the war and the war now is to make you understand that I can be a friend you can be out to a movie, meet a thousand times and still go home relaxed that you are not wound up with a emotional charge. I'll cry if you do that. I wont let you down ever I promise. If you commit to change the few things we have discussed at length.

If you are upset I want to be the one who wipes every tear, shoulder you when they need to flow, I want to be the one who makes you forget your worries, I want to be the one who listens when you have anything to say. I think that means I want you to be a person I can call a friend who I can support and feel happy.

Support for sale any takers??????????????????????????????

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Googled Life.

There is a place deep in my mind where all i know is calmness. Contradictions of the self are obscure are comprehensions of what we call life. To savour the flavour of what ever remains, we live along endlessly, pointlessly at times. In the end what remains is dust and bones.

We shall exist as miniscule pieces of work of god, like ancient artefacts, pieces of porcelain scattered all over the land when all shall be buried. We may arise out of the dust, mentally, or physically, look at life from a different perspective, only to realize that what we are is what we made ourself.

To understand, to know,to be, to lie, to exist, to lie, to cheat, to steal, our conscience. We stop at times to look how far we have come. I have done that and I love every moment of it. I'll lie not for I have to but because I can feel every moment of it.

Seems to me we are getting nowhere,but we all exist in the same frame called existence.

Friday, November 05, 2004

Battles on the Desert plains.

Well all the world is a happy place. All around me i see an unclear state, like the veil of a mist that is waiting to uncover the eerie shadows of the vampires and ghouls that roam in the valley.
But that's ok, i have been there before.

I tell people to not be afraid, I tell them to hold on to someone who holds them dear when afraid and forget all that they are afraid of. I am afraid and the bes part is i know my reasons bt i can't stop being afraid.

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Songs of The heart.

========================================
Air Supply - Without You Song
========================================
No, I can't forget this evening
Or your face as you were leaving
But I guess that's just the way the story goes
You always smile but in you eyes your sorrow shows
Yes, it shows
No I can't forget tomorrow
When I think of all my sorrow
When I had you there but then I let you go
And now its only fair that I should let you know
What you should know

Chorus:
I can't live
if living is without you
I can't give, I can't give anymore
Can't live if living is without you
Can't give, I can't give anymore

No, I can't forget this evening
Or your face as you were leaving
But I guess that's just the way the story goes
You always smile but in you eyes your sorrow shows
Yes, it shows Chorus
(2x)
========================================

One of my favouriate songs. My old favouriate band.
The link below is great
http://www.lyrics007.com/Air%20Supply%20Lyrics/Without%20You%20Lyrics.html

I sang Goodbye at RYLA 2000 at Neral. I just wanted to sing in public once and I did.

Oh The short of a Long

Basically the basics of complex understanding is too simple for a feeble mind to comprehend, but otherwise the wisest of the fools can never undertake the labourious task called thinking out of the box. That is what makes all human beings deiifer. What would be a good question but too many questions are dangerous.

We have to question :
Would the situation of current scenario be consistent, cognizable, candid, or would it curtail the journey we call understanding.

All i can say is I love writing such horrifying justifications on this page because of a few reasons:

1) it does not get angry at me.
2) I can say all i want and it just keeps it with itself.
3) It takes away my hurt.
4) It is forever present.

if it wasn't for my dear blog i would be brain dead.

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Erase And Rewind

=============================
The Cardigans---Erase And Rewind
=============================
Hey..
What did you hear me say?
You know the difference it makes
What did you hear me say?
Yes,I said it's fine before
But I don't think so no more
I said it's fine before
I've changed my mind
I take it back
Erase and rewind
'Cause I've been changing my mind
Erase and rewind
'Cause I've been changing my mind
I've changed my mind
So...
Where did you see me go?
It's not the right way, you know
Where did you see me go?

No...
It's not the light, oh no
I just don't want it to grow
It's not the light, oh no
I've changed my mind
I take it back
Erase and rewind
'Cause I've been changing my mind
Erase and rewind
'Cause I've been changing my mind
I've changed my mind Erase and rewind
'Cause I've been changing my mind
Erase and rewind
'Cause I've been changing my mind
Erase and rewind

I've changed my mind... I've changed my mind...
I've changed my mind...
I've changed my mind...
I've changed my mind...
I've changed my mind... I've changed my mind...
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I heard this song a long time ago, it's beautiful. It is about someone I know. The me three years ago. It was fabulous, where have I landed?

Questions? I have questions!
How can anyone who has the answers for all that moves, shakes up, settles down or gets blown away have them?

Well I don’t say I Don’t but the obvious fact is that I am something I wanted to be. Now all I want is God gives me the reason to go back to what I was, ruthless, stone cold, too sarcastic, someone who could smile at you even if you had a fight with me coz I knew I’ll get my revenge. I know it is not easy to go back where I have come from.

I’m packing and I know where I want to be.

It is time and I know this time when I pick up my bags, I’ll have just one tear drop deep in my heart, it would cry with the one last tear drop I had saved for days like these.

Monday, November 01, 2004

Scattered Poems

1) Black
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An aura Of black,
Surrounds me, My mind, My heart,
Lost in shadows, of a fluttering lamp light,
To vanish, like the dying flame.

To look through the darkened window pane,
Into the pitch black night,
The distant howls of the night creatures,
And crickets that sing songs of loneliness.

Of the long vanished sun,
That brings me ho[e of another orange,
When I can see the whites fly,
In formation, togetherness.

I watch the moon, fade out,
Behind those silver clouds, now darker,
The ones that shone so silent,
To spin tales of lone, black as the night.
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