Beyond The Veil Of the Mist: 11/14/04

Saturday, November 20, 2004

Any colour You like.

Pink? Blue? Red? Green?

No colours not as in those colours but as in What we feel.

Wishing.

I completed 25 years living the way I was most comfortable in. I bended every possible rule i encountered, I went ahead and messed everything in my life. I am not ashamed to regret that I stand today as a contradiction to being human. Humans are who follow rules, want things, wish for all that is material. I've lived never existed.

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I Do.
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When the sky is grey, when it rains
Do you look out our window to catch me in the rain drops?
Wen the sun sets do you feel the red and orange touch you
Do you feel them whispering how beautiful you are?
When the birds take flight, while you are watching them
Do you still smile like an innocent child?
When the river flows,singing along
Do you hear it telling you how I miss you?
When the trees swing in the gentle morning breeze
Do you see them yearning like me for your touch?
When the winds blow beside
Do you hear it call your name?
When the night is dark and the lights are out
Do you seek me to tell you it's alright?
When the sand, washed by the foam that washes ashore gets warm
Do you see it writing your name?
I know that I do, For I know that I love you,
Though you are far away, and only drifting further,
You grow in my heart.
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We all know where we stand, we don't realize our destiny can be changed by our own hands. It has lead me to a place where I know I am going to end up losing my new found self. If I wake up as my old self I'll be no one, nowhere but then as always it would be the same Nair who said "let it go"

The song below is played at the end of Die Hard 2. I watched the movie 6 times just to listen to this song. I love this one. Warm, gentle, and beautiful or should I say Tigerish.
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Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow Lyrics
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Oh the weather outside is frightful
But the fire is so delightful
And since we've no place to go
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

It doesn't show signs of stopping
And I've bought some corn for popping
The lights are turned way down low
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

When we finally kiss goodnight
How I'll hate going out in the storm!
But if you'll really hold me tight
All the way home I'll be warm

The fire is slowly dying
And, my dear, we're still goodbying
But as long as you love me so
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!
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Friday, November 19, 2004

Another Year

Well? A Good question. I ask myself at times. What is it that I hate about myself the most? Everything I am, I smoke for I hate smoking, I drink for I hate drinking, I worry for I hate worrying, I force myself into liking people for I hate people?

What am I ? Nothing short of a walking contradiction.

I love pineapple fresh cream cake (mom got me that in the evening and every time anyone gets me a cake I cry, if I cant I get angry, it reminds me of the days of my childhood a time when I lost my childhood, I am nothing short of a complete misfit in this world.

My friend stopped talking to me (so stupid of him to feel so insecure, I remember the time and pains I took to help this guy change his mind, he reverts back saying I broke up with my girlfriend, that's what I wanted.)Thank you abhishek, thank you.

If it wasn't for a woman I love so much I would have made you suffer, she reminds me that I can love, and I can still think you are a friend, you give a sh** about it but fine boss, I'll laugh at you because you are a baby, a child who looks at the world wearing a pink glass and thinks the world is pink. I cannot blame you it is your mind that doesn't understand love, friendship forget about commitment entirely.

Thanks to you I managed to make some people at the office miserable, their fault? They wanted to celebrate my birthday, I was so worried thinking where I went wrong, where I caused trouble for you, and all that stuff and so much of it that I was hurt. I still forgive you because you are a kid nothing else,I forgive you because you have to learn what love is, you have to learn what friendship is, you have to grow up.

Be happy kid, I don't want to get even,not because I'm weak but out of respect for the two women I love, for whom all Compromises are welcome. Forgiving is the most impossible compromise and for loving you My dearest TIGER I forgive abhishek.'I' won't do anything to him.

Thursday, November 18, 2004

Observation as A key.

My friend AD: Absolutely great, Don't know what is going to happen to him, Is he going to feel better after all that he tried to do.

Look at this story:
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A Das meets this girl, gets pretty feelings in his mind, asks me to talk to his girl to build her confidence. I am foolish, For i don't see that he is not in love with this girl, but it is a trap for her, a trap for trapping that poor girl. He makes her suffer for being a good human being, assaults her with insults, call her the dirtiest names, messes up her life, thinks in the end he has achieved something great.

Wow o Wow, What a great intellect this guy has? the spelling should be 'Hawesome'. Don't know why, he doesn't call up, doesn't talk when I call up, This guy told me it was fine if i talked to his girl, he never had a problem, he joined up in the company, cribbed, we tolerated it coz we thought he was a kid who was trying to improve, Hah improve for the worst. C* types man , absolutely C* types guy.

Wonder if he will ever grow up? or if gets out of depression? Probably he is schizophrenic. He I know very well probably hates this girl so much but he not having another blanket to help him stay happy picks on this poor creature. Whatever . He should take shelter in a place where he will be safe, the world is not a safe place for schizophrenics to exist safely.
Accidents happen. No one's safe now a days.
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Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Chasing Thoughts

http://ritz_nair.blogspot.com/2004_08_01_ritz_nair_archive.html

Just visiting old memories.
I generally describe some characters pretty well. The above is a girl who is short, sometimes a headache but then that's a medical condition for her.

I have a few others I can describe though they wont like me doing it but hey would it matter?

Raj:
Gets off a ship, turns around, looks at a hot babe, says "wow good" stares, ogles, looks at other women, passes us by, doesn't notice, we call out,we call on his cell no response. we give up.

Edwin:
Gets off the ship, looks around, asks oye yaar dumps hai? oye yaar woh dvd kidhar hai? mai pareshaan hoon, raj kidhar hai? Pooja kidhar hai?, kidhar hai? kya hai? kaun hai? ????

Tehreem:
Gets off the ship, Shee what a dirty place, Oye koi achha deck wala rickshaw dhoond, screams, zor se.

Jeetu:
Gets off the ship, Looks around, Says "It's like this this ship here is brown, this one is grey, they both are ships, but then it is not part of our conversation, lets see the numbers and figures.......
You see it's like simple, not really simple,,,.......

Me:
Gets off the ship, Looks at the sky, looks around, pulls out a smoke, calls out to the guys at the docks, Rahul, vicky, suresh, shashi, sachin (who? who cares?). Walks straight to the barber and cracks jokes, offers a smoke and then finds a silent spot to make a racket.

Beyond The Veil Of the Mist