Devesh.
This is one hell of a guy. I personally admire his existence and respect it. He has actually become a substitute for me, he helps find the me in myself when I'm lost in thoughts of tiger. I wish everyone knew how good this guy was. You ask him anything in the world, he knows it or he'll help you know it.Just what i was. A long time ago. Miss being that, one hell of a guy, makes me forget that I am sad, as a true friend should. Thank you god for making him a friend to me.
Just a song I liked but talks about my sentiments at times.
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Aerosmith - I Don't Want To Miss A Thing
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I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you're far away dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure
I Don't wanna close my eyes
I Don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
I'd still miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing
Laying close to you feeling your heart beating
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming
Wondering if it's me you're seeing
Then I kiss your eyes And thank God we're together
I just wanna stay with you in this moment forever
Forever and ever
I Don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing
I don't wanna miss one smile
I don't wanna miss one kiss
I just wanna be with you
Right here with you, and just like this
I just want to hold you close
Feel your heart so close to mine
And just stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time
I Don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing
Don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
I don't want to miss a thing
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Well enough of all the crazy things I have been doing, I think it is time I realized what is more important in life, Oh wait a minute it is loving tiger, loving her a little more and then again some more. Well besides that I also have to make myself strong as I think my time is up, and I may have to leave everything behind. I know I am lost, lost in her, so much that even the north star in my world is confused where I am.
(The title contains a link to the best songs by them)
Just a few lines fro Don't Cry by Guns and Roses.
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Don't Cry (Alt version) A song for tiger.
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If we could see tomorrow
What of your plans
No one can live in sorrow
Ask all your friends
Times that you took in stride babe
They're back in demand
I was the one who's washing
Blood off your hands
Don't you cry tonight
I still love you baby
Don't you cry tonight
Don't you cry tonight
There's a heaven above you baby
And don't you cry tonight
I know the things you wanted
They're not what you have
With all the people talkin'
It's drivin' you mad
If I was standin' by you
How would you feel
Knowing your love's decided
And all love is real...baby
And don't you cry tonight
Don't you cry tonight
Don't you cry tonight
There's a heaven above you baby
And don't you cry tonight
I thought I could live in your world
As years all went by
With all the voices I've heard
Something has died
And when you're in need of someone
My heart won't deny you
So many seem so lonely
With no one left to cry to baby
And don't you cry tonight
And don't you cry tonight
And don't you cry tonight
There's a heaven above you baby
And don't you cry
Don't you ever cry
Don't you cry tonight
Baby maybe someday
Don't you cry
Don't you ever cry
Don't you cry Tonight
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Click here for the sweetest song
(Sweet Child Of Mine)
Reality Complex.
In the reality complex, the only thing viable is terminal insanity. In absence of insanity, it is love, in discounted love, hope keeps us alive and when the world comes crumbling down I just write. Love is a turbid solution of particulate matter, the warmer it gets the clearer it becomes. The inabilities and short commings just settle down. What we understand is based on logic, logic is a liar it defies itself, to often drop us or shake us up from a sleep, we awaken disturbed, afraid and cold as if to get a grip on reality, we fail, we lose but we still choose to be in love.
When I said to myself I was losing a grip on my senses my logic told me '
no', I still chose this way as it was the only way I saw, they tell me about choices, The voice within my mind tells me otherwise, How different would the world be for me if it was any other way? I would still be the same, the world would still spin around, the daisies will still bloom. If they bloomed in pink when I she wasn't there in every cell of my existence they would just be flowers to me, I am happy that I see her in each pink daisy that I see today, would life be any more beautiful than that? No i don't think it would be.
I just walk alone, atleast aware that I could love, and also in a shadow that there can never be anyone else.
Cellular Loveology.
I know you may be bored of reading all this guys but I can write like this for ever, it's difficult now for me to find words to say as my vocabulary is exhausted.
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Days go by, Just like they used to when I first realized I was in love, it pained when I was alone, far away, when she would seem to me like a dream unfolded right in front of my open eyes still can come up with saying
"when you close your eyes tonight just ask god to give me one more heart so that I can love you a little more" .
She is like a moment in time to me where everything loses meaning and sense,where time stands still, the world is in a static frame, the only animated one I see is the wind that blows through her hair, gently waving them as if to tell me this is life, this is your life, she is your life.
I can see those leaves flying dried and wilted, they may seem dead to the eyes of an ordinary mortal with the morbid fear of loving, but to me they paint the perfect picture when I can look into her eyes to try to search where is the me that I lost there, in them somewhere. She just has to smile to remind me that I can
live and that I cannot
exist, they spell life, they cast a spell on my life, her presence casts a spell on my life, she remains unchanged, unmoved, its ok maybe someday she will know what love is, and if I did and do love her. All else is just as a pool of water that is silent as the surface of it but beneath the turbulence is strong, strong enough to churn this coldest heart of mine and make it melt before her fiery presence.
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Taming the Wilderness
Syn
SYNACK
ACK
The three way handshake of the TCP IP protocol.
That's life explained. Now I work like a Silent Stealth SYN scan.
My love a data packet,
She a closed port,
She rejects the packet,
The other one silently drops it,
One a firewall,
The other one a better firewall,
She filters on the application layer,
The older one a Network layer filter,
Whose to send data in,
A collision in mid range,
Of all enterprise networks large and small,
Whom checkpoint giveth all,
I shall hold on my own ground,
One pings every now and then,
One a pix firewall,
I stand in a closed network,
Relieve me.
