Beyond The Veil Of the Mist: 4/10/05

longing for you.

Have you seen a Monster?

Be afraid

another one of my creations in terragen

Dictionaries

http://www.word2word.com/dicf.html

Maturity

Some of us think this is a magic word that arrives automatically, not all of us really understand that we have to work on it. It is like building a bridge, wehre on one side you have your home ground, comfort zones, likes, dislikes, absurdity, etc and on the other side you have something totally alien to you like general acceptance, understanding and intellect. A high IQ doesn’t make you mature, understanding that you have an IQ makes you mature, the biggest thing you have to remember in life is that if you have the power to control things then realization of that power is what makes you mature.

So how mature am I?
Good question right? hey Ialways ask great questions, don’t I? I already know while writing this that a lot of us may disagree that we need to be in love to be mature. Let me just blow away that confusion clouding the concept of love in this subject. Loving may mean loving yourself, someone or just what you do. It may sometimes make you feel at your wits end. But then if your child goes bad do you kill it? you don’t you teach it to do what is right, and forgive it for what it has done.

Maturity requires a big heart, you may aspire to be a leader, manager, the vice president, or like me God, but then today I’m mature enough???? oops out comes my childishness again. There is no such thing like being half pregnant is there? you either are pregnant or not pregnant, is there a state like being pregnant enough? No I am not industry standard mature yet, I’m forever working on it, for being where you want to be you have to understand that you will face things you cannot handle, the only weapon you will have there is patience and the ability and willingness to control your temper.

I know some people who are short tempered, arrogant and self centered, I was the tops in all of it, not any more. Where is the fun when you don’t have someone who smiles back at you, especially when you need to have a smile some unfortunate day when you are putting or atleast trying to put back your life together. You may have had a broken relationship, a loss of a dear one, or maybe someone hurt your heart. I just tell God give me people like these and I’ll bring them back to living life to the maximum, I’ll give them a reason to hold on to life, grip it with claws of iron, not because it makes me feel like a king but because I can do it. It is about contentment, at the back of your mind the conscience that awakes up when you are alone tells you you can smile easy, knowing you just made someone smile.

Maturity comes in only one flavour, but in many essences, someday I’ll write what they are.
P.S. Love taught me forgiveness, kindness, patience and compassion, I had all of it hidden in my heart forever till I loved someone. Take the time ask yourself , are you loved? and can you love? It is important, not because it gives you a shoulder you can lean on and cry when you need to cry but more importantly you can be a shoulder to a person who may need to cry,and when they are done crying make a fool of yourself if needed to make them laugh. Their smile or laughter will make you heart grow warm, don’t trust me on this, try it.

Would you worry?

I just wanted to ask some questions to my self. Many of you people reading can actually relate to these and correct a few wrong things you may do at times, this was my checklist.

1) Would you ever call up a friend whom you consider closest to your heart when he/she is in a situation that’s difficult?

2) Would you get angry is someone call you up for the same?

3) Would you open your heart to a dear friend and tell him/her all you feel?

4) Would you listen to the same in return?

5) If you lose your temper for no big reason would you accept your mistakes?

6) If your friend accepts his/her mistakes will you forgive him/her?

7) Can you just be a shelter to a friend when he/she is crying? even if he/she doesn’t support you when you ned them the most?

8) Do you listen to your heart or your ego? and if your ego are you still accepted by people you call friends?

9) Do you accomodate people who call you a friend even if they have an ego?

If you know the answers you know what a friend is, and friends love each other more than the world, no boy-friend or girl-friend can even get that kind of love as a true friend can. Oh by the way tiger if you ever read this remember that you are still my number 1 friend. Do you know why? not because I love you, but because I love so damn very very much much much more as a friend than as a woman. Hey tiger I don’t do things sensibly i know that, then again do you do things sensibly? and I have told you very clearly I just want to know you are all right.
Can’t help it can you understand what a mother, father, friend and some one who loves you rolled all into one feels like? think and call me, when ever you can. Oh and just ask your conscience it will hurt you but if it does it will hurt me more.

Good news

My doc told me to lay off smokes for a little while, he says that they are going to put me into serious trouble soon, anyway someone can breathe easy knowing i’ll be gone.

Well here we go

migrating to windows 2000 with Exchange 2000, and man is it a cakewalk. I just told my server you would get angry and then i would get sad if it didn't migrate and guess what it migrated, not a single error.

All for love.

One song that still gives me the goose pimples.

==========================================
ALL FOR LOVE (Bryan Adams, Rod Stewart and Sting) ==========================================

When it's love you give
(I'll be a man of good faith.)
then in love you live.
(I'll make a stand. I won't break.)
I'll be the rock you can build on,
be there when you're old,
to have and to hold.

When there's love inside
(I swear I'll always be strong.)
then there's a reason why.
(I'll prove to you we belong.)
I'll be the one that protects you
from the wind and the rain,
from the hurt and pain.
Let's make it all for one and all for love.
Let the one you hold be the one you want,
the one you need,
'cause when it's all for one it's one for all.
When there's someone that should know
then just let your feelings show
and make it all for one and all for love.

When it's love you make
(I'll be the fire in your night.)
then it's love you take.
(I will defend, I will fight.)
I'll be there when you need me.
When honor's at stake,
this vow I will make:
that it's all for one and all for love.
Let the one you hold be the one you want,
the one you need,
'cause when it's all for one it's one for all.
When there's someone that should know
then just let your feelings show
and make it all for one and all for love.

Don't lay our love to rest
'cause we could stand up to you test.
We got everything and more than we had planned,
more than the rivers that run the land.
We've got it all in our hands.
Now it's all for one and all for love.
(It's all for love.)
Let the one you hold be the one you want,
the one you need,
'cause when it's all for one it's one for all.
(It's one for all.)
When there's someone that should know
then just let your feelings show.
When there's someone that you want,
when there's someone that you need
let's make it all, all for one and all for love.
==========================================

My exploits with the truth

Well here I am wondering what is the true meaning of life, I’m reading ‘The monk who sold his Ferrari’. It tries to teach me that we all have to let go of things in life, for we worry, I just would like to ask, if I let go of my life is it sensible? can i stop short of loving someone who is like living my own life to me? ‘Love advocate’ you call me, hah I laugh on me, I cry on me but when I am breathing i know I’m alive, for the rest of the times I know I exist as a mere sock puppet i.e a Muppet in gods hand. I’d like to be kermit but hey he gets to choose what I play, love you god, you are so much like me. you play both sidess of the game don’t you? but I just do it to connect things and people, and you do it to disconnect me from them, well maybe you have some acetic dreams in store for me, no I’m not going to make your dream a reality. I’ll stay in mine, even if you ‘mine’ my path of life i’ll step on each of them watch me explode to smitherheens and then pick up my own pieces and smile at you, say I love my tiger and then walk on to step on to the next mine. You watch out for me God, I’ll be asking you to help me stay alive, begging to myself to breathe easy and trying to escape my reality that I create. You just have to stand beside, lend me a hand and let me do my stuff.

Oh a few lines that I relate well in a song I’ve heard for a long tme dedicated to for my Tiger :

Bryan Adams : Please Forgive Me.
=========================

(Chorus)
So if you’re feeling lonely, don’t
You’re the only love I ever want
I only wanna make it good
So if I love you a little more than I should
Please forgive me
I know not what I do
Please forgive me
I can’t stop loving you
Don’t deny me
This pain I’m going through
Please forgive me
If I need you like I do
Please believe it every word I say is true
Please forgive me
I can’t stop loving you
=========================

my msn buddy list titles

Record breaker

wow i broke my own record 5 of it in 2 days, that's 10th time this mont that i wrote 5 poems in two days. I'm dead. D E A D. well tiger you want me to go right i'm getting it arranged, just hope I can pull it off, and stop being a bother, just asked to love you, and I know I do, did and will do so, forever ever and ever. You'll realize it maybe someday just remember to let me know then maybe I’ll remind you that you can hate me .

Happiness Sold @ $245

MS Exchange Support. And we are here, just to help those poor fellow beings wailing at the loss of a server that delivered mail till a few moments ago.

Take a Look back

Calvin my favouriate, basically me

Quotes

Click on the image you'll love the wall paper

Me, shaven, Nutz and going to office. Food, footwear but pain in my heart, trying to fool myself but ya know how huch incapable I am of doing that too without you.

Now That's Attitude

Nothing moves in this image but your eyes will lie. click on it for a bigger picture.

something funny.
http://www.berro.com/entertainment/Phrases%20for%20Work.htm

Click here for cool funny pictures, you'll love it.

http://www.cs.unc.edu/~davemc/Pic/Funny/

New Shoes

It makes me sick to give up. I won't. My call, My responsibility. My life, My way. I love and like no one can, I know It makes me proud of what I can do as I'm te only one with the liberty to push myself to the edge of doing anything that suits me just fine.

Dragging along Part I

Poem for the same on the site at : http://23miles.blogspot.com/

This is me alive,after walking about 15 kilometers from 10:30 pm in the night from panvel "woods resort" to Panvel Station bare foot, drunk with suicide on my mind after I was almost drowning in the swimming pool there I realized I can kill myself the way I choose, and Its absence of the will to live that makes me do that.
Well, anyways we all have a short shelf life and it is only a matter of time before something comes our way that compells us to do something outrageous and stupid. I await you on the roads of my life now, free me from the bonds of knowing God I await your final sign that I cannot smile, You fight against me and I just have to say I will never give up thinking or loving, take your best shot God ! I'm armed to the teeth with my love for her.

A Question for the intellectuals

Loving people via MSN is just a few kilobytes of XML wide! anyone understands what this means?

My jeans after 15 kms of walking, never walk in the night, especially when drunk

My wife

Well I met karROX there at the woods resort, Wipro’s party was great, I drowned, but then I escaped, I was drunk as an elephant on whisky, I was walking throught the night, ocassionally resting at the road side stones, half asleep, fully drunk and then I reached Panvel station took the bus to Kalyan. What can i say pain is something that has been a wife of mine.

Beyond The Veil Of the Mist

Saturday, April 16, 2005

Dictionaries

Maturity

Would you worry?

Good news

Friday, April 15, 2005

Well here we go

All for love.

My exploits with the truth

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Record breaker

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Happiness Sold @ $245

Take a Look back

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Quotes

Monday, April 11, 2005

Now That's Attitude

New Shoes

Dragging along Part I

Sunday, April 10, 2005

A Question for the intellectuals

My wife

About Me

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