Longings......
The overcast has spun its spell, and the shadows have faded. Around me the moist wind swirls, whistles, the smell of the earth engulfs my brain. I long again to be the child of spring, the wooden cottage, the roof made of red clay tiles, fixed with a glass tile every 10 tile away. It lets in the light from the lightning, makes me scared but the sound f the splatter outside brings me joy. I wish to escape, to that evening of the rain, to an address that reads out as Kavesseri gramam, Palakkad Dist, Kerala State.
The day I grew capable of memory it rained, the smell of the earth, they said it rains a lot less in Bombay; I used to wonder if I will ever go there, visit the sea shore and see the gateway. I did and this is my story. The story of Ritesh Nair.
Here I am 22 years later, turning back, looking at myself. I miss that moment. I remember those days often, it was 5:30 Am once and Mom had arrived from Bombay with my Uncle and they were carrying a Tricycle for me. I had big dreams about it. I wanted to put lights on it with batteries and a horn. I laugh at it sometimes when i think that i was the same I am today. Trying to improvise with what I have. She had gotten me a lot of Toffees. The Ravalgaon ones. I liked the ones with the blue wrapper especially. I had a nice jelly filling, the deep red colored one was also one of my favorites.
I had a personal pest though, my elder sister. She would always thrash me without rhyme or reason. Thankfully to her I hate women. They nag; think that they know all there is to know, they think they are superior, etc. The only difference in her was that she loved me very much, she would take care that my clothes were well ironed, clean and they matched. She also indirectly taught me a lot about management. I still have not found a reason on why she thrashed the daylights out of me often, must have been because of my alcoholic Dad. I still hate him. I often miss him as I wanted to stab him in the heart and kill him for troubling my mother so much. But then it would be wrong, under influence you are never you, you are a monster. I learnt that someday when the skies are not pink all you have to do is to sit and wait till it turns pink. It will eventually as you can outlast God's patience. He cannot hold back as much as you can. He will succumb to your patience. He does. That is because he loves you. He hates me most times though. But then again who knows.
Someday.....
posted by Abinomable Non Nutcase @ 3:58 AM
